This is my body, and these are my choices. 

When I was 17 years old I had an unexpected pregnancy. Many odds were against me, but I CHOSE to keep my son after months of people telling me how hard it would be. My own mother stopped talking to me for quite some time. Partially due to my attitude, and partially for the shame of it all. Getting pregnant in high school was and has never been ideal for anyone. At the time of my son's birth I had been newly relocated from Japan to Milwaukee, WI. So not only was I navigating being a first time mom, I was also becoming reacclimated with American culture and life in general after being overseas for 3 years. I didn't have much help that first year and not many friends either. I met a man and we became friends. The first time we met my son was 3 months old. As time went on, the man and I started a romantic relationship. This was my first relationship out of high school so I somewhat felt pressured to keep up with him.



Our relationship started taking a bad turn somewhere around the 5 month mark.



He started getting physically abusive towards me. I felt so hopeless because I didn't really have any friends at the time that I could go to. The abuse continued until I was 20 years old.

Two whole years of being beaten and fighting for who knows what, it was just whatever he felt he was pissed about.

It all came to a head on my oldest son's birthday, he was 2 years old. I wanted it to be special and memorable but what I remember more is that I finally fought back. He tried to beat me in the car and I fought back. I made a commitment to myself that I was never going to see this man again. He was unstable and unsafe and to that point I had been extremely young and naive.

A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

I knew the baby was his, I also knew the type of life of struggle the baby would have. I did not think it would be fair to bring a child into the world with him.

What could my baby expect? Abuse? Neglect? Pain? Suffering?

I could not afford an abortion on my own as a new mom starting out. Quite frankly, I couldn't afford life in general. I spoke to my mother and she let me know that there were people in my life who I loved, who also had abortions. She said I had to think about what was best for this baby and assured me whatever decision I made I would have to live with forever. At the end of the day, it was my choice. I thought it over and once I decided my mom said she would help me pay for it.

Ultimately, I myself CHOSE to terminate my pregnancy. Nobody should be forced to bring children into instability. I could have had my baby and struggled with 2 toddlers and a father who was clearly not going to be in the future.

I chose for us all.

After this experience I became pregnant again and CHOSE to keep that baby. I am not saying our life is perfect, but I love my children with everything in me. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made but I am not ashamed of my choice because nobody can live my life for me. This is my body, and these are my choices.