I made a choice. 

It was 2015, I was in my late twenties when my birth control of 15+ years had failed. I had just graduated college and had a job opportunity of a lifetime.. I was in what seemed to be a long term relationship but knew I never wanted children.

I did what I thought was best alone and isolated because the moment I found out I was pregnant was the moment I became single. I had dealt with mental issues before but never had a thought of the toll abortion would take on me mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally.

The hardest part about it wasn't the decision. It wasn't the having to go to the clinic, or even facing protests outside of Planned Parenthood but the force education that was put in place by my State Governor at the time. The fact that I had to acknowledge the image on the screen, the forced 24 hour waiting period, and the bag of information handed to you before you walk out the door. All things I know I didn't need.

Afterwards, I felt more alone because i had no one to speak about the situation with because it was such taboo for women to speak so freely on what they want to do with their bodies. We simply don't have open commutation on such topics. I couldn't take PTO or ask for leave to allow my body to heal because I was one of few females in a high career postion and as a female we have to force ourselves to carry on no matter what pain of bodies go through. So I carried on.

In the summer of 2016 my birth control failed again. My body immediately told me I was pregnant and I knew I didn't want to have to sit through the force education, the forced images, or the waiting period again. I knew I didn't want to crawl out of the dark place I had just left but knew I still couldn't be a mother. So I made a choice. I did what was best for me and my body at that time. I made my choice publicly to show that we have the right to our bodies and what we want.

I chose open adoption.

I made this choice because I have the right to. I had the right to. I opened up a safe space for women to talk about the taboo of our choices and still seek to help others find what is best for them.

I'm 32 this year and still know I don't want children and that's my choice. That should be my choice.

Not all choices are right but they are the right choices for the human making them.